Adriana Lima To Marry Marco

Another case of an NBA player dating (and in this case, marrying) way out of his league. The paltry Marco Jaric not only hooked Adriana Lima 9 months ago, but now he’s reeled her in. Publicist for Adriana Lima reported that the supermodel did in fact receive an engagement ring from Jaric Thursday night. The ring turned out to be an engagement/birthday present of sorts as Thursday happened to be Adriana’s birthday as well. Listen, we’re not saying Jaric couldn’t pull a girl or two if it weren’t for the NBA, but check this girl out!

[People]

Lakers: And The Wheels Come Falling Off

H-U-M-I-L-I-T-Y best describes Laker Fan today. Not since the Laker Mobile have the fans of LA experienced such humility. Speaking of which…..

insert The Laker Mobile: Keeping Laker fans humble since 1974

[m2 forum]

Kimi Raikkonen Trumps Shaq

Forbes Celebrity 100 was released yesterday. An index of earnings, web hits, press mentions, and TV mentions; the list looks to rank the worldwide most powerful and best paid celebrities. For what it’s worth, here’s how sports figures ranked on the list. You may find some surprising:

• 2) Tiger Woods
• 5) David Beckham
• 16) Lebron James
• 18) Michael Jordan
• 19) Kobe Bryant
• 20) Phil Mickelson
• 23) Roger Federer
• 24) Alex Rodriguez
• 36) Kimi Raikkonen
• 37) Jeff Gordon
• 38) Ronaldhino
• 39) Shaquille Oneal
• 43) Fernando Alonso
• 52) Dale Earnhardt Jr.
• 56) Kevin Garnett
• 61) Maria Sharapova
• 69) Serena Williams
• 81) Justine Henin
• 88) Lorena Ochoa
• 93) Annika Sorenstam

May Anderson Joins Team Kidd

Jason Kidd proves that middle-aged, balding men that have a face only a mother could love can still pull smoking hot swimsuit models. Former Sports Illustrated swimsuit model May Anderson is Jason Kidd’s newest fling. And what she lacks in taste and intelligence, she definitely makes up for in looks. Earth to May Anderson: May, maybe you’ve been living under a rock the past few years and know nothing of Jason Kidd’s domestic history and questionable ways with women. Or maybe May Anderson’s just dances to the beat of a different tune. Coincidentally her favorite song just happens to be, “It’s all about the Benjamins“.

May Anderson Gallery

[via SI]

Bill Walton To Luke: You Are A Bum

Bill Walton has been doing what he does best during the playoffs — Talk. The former NBA star turned NBA commentator has been leaving son Luke messages on his answering machine in hopes of motivating the Laker forward. Luke has been receiving messages from the likes of “Carloz Boozer“, “Carmelo Anthony“, and now “Paul Pierce“.

“This is Paul Pierce, you’re a bum, all your teammates are bums.”

These motivational prank calls by Bill Walton prove two things: 1) He is horrible at motivating as Luke Walton has been average at best. And 2) Big Red is in dire need of some attention following his recent time-off from the commentating booth. Throw it down…..Give it up big man, Give it up!

[Washington Post]

Plaxico Burress: Show Me The Money

In what’s becoming an all too familiar occurrence in the NFL, wideout Plaxico Burress has told the Super Bowl champion Giants: No Pay, No Play. The all-pro receiver reported to Wednesday’s mandatory minicamp, but refused to practice. Note to Giants: You’re the defending champs, you’re short a Shockey, and now you have a pouting Plaxico. Our advice to you (In our best Teddy KGB impersonation): Pay Zaht Mahn Hiz Mahney!

Feel free to mull over the numbers here. We’d report them for you, but all those zeros make us dizzy.